Girl with kaleidoscope eyes

I hung out with my ex boyfriend of ten months last night.  It was the first time I saw him in a year.  I thought I hated him but when I saw him all those old feelings came rushing back.  I got to look into his amazing eyes again, and he held me again and kissed me again.  I fell so hard last night again.  This is so hard.  He’s become a totally different person and I think it’s for the better.  I don’t want to get my hopes up though.  Maybe this is a sign though.  Maybe, we are meant to be together.  Because, for some reason, when we were hanging out last night, it was like nothing ever changed, like we never broke up, like we were still in love.  I think we are meant to be but it could just be me.  I will always, always love Josh, even though he hurt me so badly.  He will always have a place in my heart.  I’m probably seeing him tomorrow.  I can’t wait to be back in his arms <3.

This is the last day of this thirty day challenge!!  I do feel differently in a sense.  My life has not gotten any better nor has it gotten any worse..  I feel like I reflected on things I needed to reflect on.  It was good for me!

Well, if we are talking about dreaming in a literal sense, as when I go to bed and am sleeping, I dream about a lot of different things, weird things, real things that happen in my life, etc.  I know we are talking about dreaming in a different sense though.  Like, what I want to do with my life, etc.  I dream a lot about finding someone who loves me and someone I love (I’m not going to lie)  I feel like I would be a lot happier if I had a man who I was truly in love with, but it isn’t a reason why I’m NOT happy, because, I am happy.  I dream about the future, even though that does make me sad a bit.  I honestly can’t say what is going to happen in the future, but then again, who does?  I dream about life, fake things that I wish would happen.  I dream about seeing Shane, and having him in my life and not just on the phone, he is my best friend, you know (I wrote a post about him a while ago, feel free to read it).  I dream about warm places when it snows this much (we had a blizzard last night), I dream in color and I dream in love and life and happiness.  I love to dream.

I’m obsessed with tattoos, so I am promoting http://fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com/

I’m going to dedicate this post to my parents.  I just want to say thank you for being there for me through all the bad times and good times.  Thank you for always standing up for me when I needed it.  Thank you for being the two best parents a kid could have.  Without you guys, I would be nowhere and I would be nothing.  I would have flunked out of high school, and wouldn’t have even cared.  You guys pushed me and sometimes I hated you for that.  Looking on it now though, I can see that it was only for the best.  So now, I’m dedicating my college years to you guys.  I’m going to prove to you that you taught me how to be a respectable, responsible, twenty year old woman.  I’m going to make you proud because you guys have made me proud to call you my parents.  I love you mom and dad.  <3!