Girl with kaleidoscope eyes

I hung out with my ex boyfriend of ten months last night.  It was the first time I saw him in a year.  I thought I hated him but when I saw him all those old feelings came rushing back.  I got to look into his amazing eyes again, and he held me again and kissed me again.  I fell so hard last night again.  This is so hard.  He’s become a totally different person and I think it’s for the better.  I don’t want to get my hopes up though.  Maybe this is a sign though.  Maybe, we are meant to be together.  Because, for some reason, when we were hanging out last night, it was like nothing ever changed, like we never broke up, like we were still in love.  I think we are meant to be but it could just be me.  I will always, always love Josh, even though he hurt me so badly.  He will always have a place in my heart.  I’m probably seeing him tomorrow.  I can’t wait to be back in his arms <3.

What are you guys doing tonight!?  I myself, am going to New York with my girls.  I know I know, we are probably crazy but it is going to be so much fun!!!  The energy is going to amazing!  I’m so excited.  I would love to know what everyone else is doing so let me know!!

    1. a photo of your first kiss
    2. a photo of you drunk
    3. a photo of your favorite article of clothing
    4. a photo of you sleeping
    5. a photo of your crazy sock collection
    6. a photo of your scars
    7. a photo of a childhood friend you wish you could find
    8. a photo of your feet
    9. a photo of your most embarrassing moment
    10. a photo of your scariest moment
    11. a photo of you laughing
    12. a photo of you and an animal
    13. a photo of your favorite dance move
    14. a photo of your at your proudest
    15. a photo of you naked
    16. a photo of you with someone who is no longer alive
    17. a photo of you as a child
    18. a photo of you stuffing your face with pizza
    19. a photo of what moves you so much emotionally that you have to take a     minute
  20. a photo of how you’d like to spend every day
 21. a photo of you and your best female friend making out all over the place
 22. a photo of your tattoos and piercings with explanations
 23. a photo of how you’d like the world to see you
 24. your favorite photo that you’ve taken
 25. a candid photo of you
 26. a photo of you and your last boyfriend or guy you dated
 27. a photo of your “office”
28. a photo of you upside down in your favourite skivvies
29. a photo of you underwater
30. a photo of something you’ve only ever dreamed of

This is the last day of this thirty day challenge!!  I do feel differently in a sense.  My life has not gotten any better nor has it gotten any worse..  I feel like I reflected on things I needed to reflect on.  It was good for me!

Well, if we are talking about dreaming in a literal sense, as when I go to bed and am sleeping, I dream about a lot of different things, weird things, real things that happen in my life, etc.  I know we are talking about dreaming in a different sense though.  Like, what I want to do with my life, etc.  I dream a lot about finding someone who loves me and someone I love (I’m not going to lie)  I feel like I would be a lot happier if I had a man who I was truly in love with, but it isn’t a reason why I’m NOT happy, because, I am happy.  I dream about the future, even though that does make me sad a bit.  I honestly can’t say what is going to happen in the future, but then again, who does?  I dream about life, fake things that I wish would happen.  I dream about seeing Shane, and having him in my life and not just on the phone, he is my best friend, you know (I wrote a post about him a while ago, feel free to read it).  I dream about warm places when it snows this much (we had a blizzard last night), I dream in color and I dream in love and life and happiness.  I love to dream.